Back To December
by FadingAshes
Summary: So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night. And I'd go back to December all the time. Dramione! R&R!


**Disclaimer: Only the story belongs to me, the characters all belong to the wonderful JK Rowling. **

**A/N: This is a sequel to **_**Last Christmas. **_**Enjoy! R&R!**

Draco was pretty sure Blaise was up to something. Yesterday, after the Christmas Ball, Blaise had given him a wink before snogging Luna senselessly. (Draco hoped to be free of that image by next week.) And right now, in the Great Hall for breakfast, Blaise kept sneaking knowing glances at him, then staring at Hermione. He stared back and forth, his gaze lingering longer and longer, like he was connecting imaginary dots.

Draco couldn't stand it anymore.

"What's your problem, Zabini?" He put down his fork with a _twang_ and glared at him with all the darkness he could muster.

"Not like it's my problem, more likely yours." Blaise smirked, not at all fazed by his dark glare.

"What do you mean _my_ problem?" Draco demanded.

"More like Hermione and yours, actually." Blaise replied, glancing at Hermione again.

Draco felt himself stiffen; his hand went to his fork, clenching it tightly until his knuckles shone white.

"You don't know anything, Zabini," Draco snarled, "So I suggest you keep your fucking mouth shut tight. You can save it for snogging the shit out of Lovegood later."

Blaise turned a bright shade of red, very surprising for his dark skin, "And you don't know anything about me and Luna's relationship."

"And I hope it remains that way." Draco shot back.

Blaise pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, now calm, "You can't go on living like this, Draco."

Draco remained silent, and Blaise took the opportunity to continue, "You haven't slept well at all, hardly eaten anything, and had payed attention in class. I'm worried, Draco, and I'm also worried about Hermione."

"What do you have to be worried about Granger?" Draco asked icily. "As far as I know, she's over it."

"She's not. She's in the same condition as you." Blaise said matter-of-factly. "You haven't noticed, Drake? She wants you back; too, just like you want her back."

Draco snuck a look at the Gryffindor table. And Blaise was right. Dark bags hung under her eyes, she seemed thinner than usual, her hair glossy, but obviously not brushed. Her skin was pale and her eyes, he shuddered, were dark and empty. Not full of its usual sparkle and twinkle, her eyes betrayed nothing but a swirl of hollowness and misery.

"She doesn't want me back, and when did I even say I wanted her?" Draco snapped, tearing his gaze away from the brunette.

"Words are not needed; I can see it in your eyes and actions." Blaise replied, sincerity lacing every word.

"You're getting too mushy for my own liking, mate, you sure you're alright?" Draco asked, wrinkling his nose and knitting his brows together.

Blaise groaned in annoyance, "Luna changed me, okay?" he sat up straighter in his seat and grumbled, "Of all the things you could say, you had to point out that."

Draco smirked and nodded farewell to Blaise. But before he could get up from his seat, Blaise reached out a hand to stop him.

"What do you want now, Blaise?" Draco drawled, growing annoyed with his friend.

"Get her back, Draco," Blaise murmured for only him to hear, "Get her back before it's too late. Would you like to see Hermione snogging someone once she's completely over it? Would you like to attend a wedding of Hermione and someone else's?" Draco got a disgusting image of Hermione and Crabbe snogging and doing hanky-panky. He furiously shook his head, and Blaise continued, "Then end your and hers misery and get her back." Blaise smiled, "She likes music, right?" Draco nodded, loss for words. Blaise put down his hand and smirked, "You can go now."

Blaise must never _ever_ know that on that day, he had finally knocked some sense into Draco.

Draco nodded at Blaise, shaken up and a bit lost for words; he didn't have any classes this morning so he strolled to his room. He lay on his bed and racked his brains for a good plan, a plan to make Hermione his again. Wait…Blaise said something about her liking music. He had a short memory about Hermione telling him that.

.

.

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_**Flashback**_

"_Hermione," He feigned a look of affection and tried not to gag, "Why do you sing every time you get nervous?" He really was curious._

_Hermione turned her head away from the piano and gave him a sad smile, "My mother used to sing to me at night when I wake up from nightmares. Her voice was so wonderful, so comforting that it made me feel safe. I used to ask her to sing me to sleep most of the nights." She chuckled, a tear running down her eye._

"_Why are you using past tense?" Draco felt a strange urge to reach out his hand and brush away her tear._

"_Because I oblivated her memory so she wouldn't get involved in the war." Hermione sniffled and rubbed her eyes, "Ever since she started to sing to me, I started to love and appreciate music. It reminds me of my mother every time I hear a song."_

_**End Flashback**_

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_**.**_

Draco sat up straight on his bed; he bounced a little out of excitement and rubbed his hands together, his brain producing a plan. It might be too mushy for his liking, but it'll have to do. But of course, he would need some help…

.

.

.

Hermione sat by the Gryffindor table and listened to Harry and Ron talking about Quidditch, she would pretend not to notice the concerned and worried looks Harry, Ron, and Ginny sent her occasionally. She felt a tap on her shoulder and looked up to meet Luna's dreamy bluish-grey eyes.

"Hermione?" Luna smiled dreamily, her eyes twinkling with…was that mischief and mirth? Well, this was Luna, you might never know.

"Yes, Luna?" Hermione smiled genuinely for the first time in the day, this was how she liked her, so innocent and full of good content, "Is anything wrong?"

"Professor McGonagall would like to see you in the Room of Requirement." Luna said and walked out of the Great Hall.

That was strange. She usually met her professors in their office…whatever. She excused herself politely to her friends and made way to the Room of Requirement. She opened the door and stepped inside.

To her shock, Draco sat on a stool, holding a guitar. She widened her eyes in horror and turned around, ready to dash out of the door, just as she whipped around, the door slammed shut and locked with a charm Draco uttered.

"W-what do you want, Malfoy?" Hermione shakily asked, her hand secretly reaching into her pocket for her wand.

"You." Draco smirked as she froze. Strumming his guitar, he began to sing.

_I'm so glad you made time to see me._

_How's life? Tell me, how's your family?_

He took a deep breath, he knew the answer, her parents were dead.

_I haven't seen them in a while _

He dragged the note, consciously aware that his voice was off-tune.

_You've been busy; busier than ever_

_We small talk, work in the weather_

_Your guard is up and I know why_

_Cause the last time you saw me _

_Still burns in the back of your mind_

_You gave me roses and I left them there to die_

He watched as she took timid steps closer to hear him sing. Well, at least she wasn't running away shrieking in disgust and horror.

_So this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you saying_

_I'm sorry for that night _

Hermione gasped, his pride meant a lot to him. And he was sitting there, apologizing?

_And I go back to December all the time_

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_

_Wishing I'd realize what I had to blow that night_

_And I go back to December, turn around and make it alright_

_I go back to December all the time_

Draco took a deep breath and watched as tears slipped down Hermione's right eye.

_These days I haven't been sleeping _

_Staying up playing myself leaving_

_When your birthday passed_

_And I didn't call, then I think about summer_

_All the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side_

_And realized I loved you in the fall _

He realized that it was true. He had fallen for Hermione in the process of winning her heart and throwing it away.

_And then the cold came_

_With the dark days when the fear crept into my mind_

_You gave me all your love_

_And all I gave you was goodbye_

_So this me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you saying _

_I'm sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time_

He battled nervousness and watched another tear slide down her right eye.

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_

_Wishing I'd realize what I had to blow that night_

_And I go back to December, turn around and make it alright_

_I go back to December all the time_

_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile_

_So good to me, so right_

_And how you held me in your arms_

_That September night_

_The first time you ever saw me cry_

_Maybe this is wishful thinking_

_Probably mindless dreaming_

_If we loved again, I swear I'd love you right _He meant it, and Hermione could hear the sincerity in his words.

_I'd go back in time and change it_

_But I can't_

_So if the chain is on your door I understand_

_So this me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you saying _

_I'm sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time _

He would admit his voice cracked a bit.

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_

_Wishing I'd realize what I had to blow that night_

_And I go back to December, turn around and make it all right_

_I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_

_I-I go back to D-December all the time_

_All the time_

Another tear slipped down her right eye, and her bottom lip trembled. He put down his guitar and stood up from his stool.

"I'm sorry." He said, and then repeated it again, and again.

Hermione walked slowly in front of him, and he took a sharp intake of breath.

She was even more beautiful up this close.

She placed a hand on this cheek softly, then lifted the hand, and _slapped_ him so hard the sound rocketed off the walls and he staggered backwards from the blow.

"What the—" He started but she interrupted him with a snarl so cold it froze him in his tracks.

"I loved you; you were the only boy I truly loved." She raised a trembling finger. "You treated me with respect; you told me you no longer believed the muggleborn bullshit. You were the perfect gentlemen. You told me you loved me, I told you I loved you back. But all this time you played me for a fool. You_ lied_."

"I said I was sorry." He said quietly. "I apologized. I even sang this song for you."

"What good is a love song without the love, Malfoy?" She spat his name out like venom on her lips, and with a shudder, he realized he had once said her name the same way. "Because after everything, I'm still the _filthy little Mudblood_."

"Don't say that word." He said in the same quiet tone that infuriated Hermione even more. "I don't think of you that way anymore. I really don't believe in all those propaganda. I just want you to love me the way you did before."

"Love you the way I did before?" She laughed without humor, a laugh so mirthless it sent chills down his spine. "What we had was a fake. I'm not even sure if we had anything, to be honest, I'm not even sure I want anything to do with you. I _hate_ you."

Her words were like another slap.

"What more do you want, Granger?" He asked, his voice rising as anger began to surge through him. "I apologized, I was nice."

"Why?" She suddenly screamed. "Why is it always expected that a guy can be as horrible as he wants but one nice gesture and everything is forgotten and the girl takes him back?!"

"I'm not one of those guys, Hermione! I'm not!" He screamed back, desperate for her to understand.

"How are you not, Malfoy? How?!" She screamed and held up a hand for silence. "We're done, okay? We're done."

"No!" He pleaded. "Hermi—! 

"Why are we wasting time?" She asked in a tremulous tone. "Why didn't I just get my wand out and break the charm on the door first?"

"Plea—"

"I'm leaving." She whispered. "_Alohomora_."

"Don-"

Before she slammed the door shut, she looked behind her shoulder and said, "I'm not your ghost anymore, I won't be broken by you again."

The door slammed shut behind her and Draco Malfoy fell back on his stool. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and fisted his hair.

"What am I going to do?" He whispered in agony.

Only silence answered him.

.

.

.

"Hermione?" She turned and looked at Cormac McLaggen who had a small and somehow shy smile on his face.

The Diagon Alley was almost empty and only a few stragglers remained.

"Yes?" She asked as she returned his smile, his hand which held hers warmed up.

"Nothing, just this." He leaned forward and captured her lips with his, his hands woven into her hair.

She kissed him back with the same amount of passion, gripping to him like he was her lifeline.

In a way, he was.

He had healed her. He had given her a love that she never asked for, but gratefully accepted

And she was so glad she did.

As they continued kissing with increasing passion, neither of the lovers noticed the sorrowful grey eyes in the shadows watching them.

.

.

.

Hermione couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She couldn't move.

Everything was numb. She couldn't feel anything.

Because it couldn't be true. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't.

The Aurors had to be lying; he hadn't been brutally mauled and killed by a pack of magical beasts. He just couldn't

She could move again, she grabbed her wand and apparated.

She followed the doctors' instructions and ran to his room. She ran so fast everything became a blur.

_He's not dead_. She repeated that again. _He's not dead_.

He's not dead, everything was fine.

Yet when she lifted the white sheets that covered up his body, her heart sank to her knees.

His face and body were so scarred that she could barely recognize his once-handsome features. Everything was red, wherever she looked at his body, everything was red.

"Miss?" The doctor said timidly from the doorway. "We couldn't save him, he was too far gone…I'm sorry."

Hermione couldn't look at him. All she could see was Cormacs' body and his eyes. Though the lids were closed, she could still remember the shape and color of them. It was hazel and with even brighter flecks of green and gold scattered in the irises. His eyes were almond-shaped. His lashes were full and dark, curling slightly at the end.

Except for the blood and wounds, he looked like he was sleeping; his hands have been carefully placed on his stomach.

Fury exploded inside her chest.

He wasn't sleeping! He was dead! Why did they make him look like he was sleeping? When someone was sleeping, you could always wake them up. But when they're dead, you can't do anything about it but wish that they were still with you, living.

Her pain spilled over its' brink of control and she broke down in guttural sobs that wracked her whole body.

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.

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Draco was nervous.

No, he wasn't nervous, that word was a bit too light.

Hell, he was more than nervous.

He drummed his fingers on the table as he waited for Hermione to arrive in this restaurant named _McDonalds_.

But she was late.

She had clearly told him to meet here exactly at 9:00 am in the morning.

He looked at his recently bought watch. She was twenty minutes late.

While he waited, he allowed his mind to drift off.

He never knew love could hurt so much, after she had rejected him and said that she hated him.

_I hate you_.

The words just kept repeating itself over and over again in his head, no matter how hard he tried to block it out.

When she had married Cormac, he continued to love her even when his heart seemed as if it would never repair itself again.

He wanted to hate McLaggen. But he couldn't because every time they met in the Auror Department McLaggen would always be so polite and nice to him, even with the insults Draco threw at him. Eventually, he grew accustomed with his presence. Then he got killed by some magical beasts three years ago.

And Hermione, he still loved her, nothing could change that. He had dated and bed many girls after they had graduated, he wanted to erase his love for her, and he wanted to forget the ache in his heart. But every time he slept with a woman, her face always morphed into Hermiones' in his mind. Nothing could erase her from his heart.

"Sorry I'm late!" Hermione Grangers' voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Work was chaotic."

"It's alright." He said quietly, his heart quickening again whenever he was in her presence.

He wasn't really sure what happened next. Everything just became a blur.

He supposed she sat down, they ordered food and drinks, and then they talked.

First came the usual weather talk.

"It's a beautiful weather out there, isn't it?" He asked awkwardly, not really looking out the window.

As if the sky was against him, it gave a huge rumble then rain started pouring down.

Thankfully, Hermione saved him the embarrassment and diverted the subject to their jobs until she finally dropped the real bomb.

"How are you, Draco?"

"I-uh…I'm…fine?" He nearly slapped himself. Why did he say it like it was some stupid question? Merlin, he was going insane.

"I mean, how are you, _really_?" She asked, her eyes darting everywhere nervously.

It calmed him down a bit, knowing that she felt nervous in his presence, too.

"I'm fine," he repeated. "How are _you_?"

"I'm fine. Wait, no, that's a lie." She rambled. "Actually, I don't know! When Cor-Cormac d-died, I felt like something was missing from my life, something was stolen from me and I would never get it back. It hurt so much, Draco."

He was speechless. She had just told him something personal and said his first name without any malice.

That was a first.

She didn't give him a chance to answer. "I know I've been awful to you lately."

"Only because I was horrible to you, and I deserved every—"

"Please let me finish, Draco," She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I-I know we haven't been on good terms lately, and I want to…I want…I _don't_ want to keep on arguing."

"But you hate me." He said, confused yet hopeful.

"I tried to, Draco, I tried so hard but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hate you knowing that you loved me." She admitted.

His heart perked up hopefully and picked up its' steady rhythm again.

"Draco?" She whispered.

His heart rammed against his ribs.

"I missed you…" She choked out, "I missed you so much."

"I—" He cleared his throat. "—I missed you, too. I really do."

She gave a brilliant and sad smile.

Suddenly, hope bubbled in his chest. Maybe… maybe she could still be his someday; maybe she could love him back someday.

After all, she was his first love, and he would go back to December all the time.

_**~*~*~FIN~*~*~**_

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the story! Leave some nice reviews if you do~ ;) **


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